2017 Queer Packing List

2017 Queer Packing List

We got married.

Now, we honeymoon in Ireland.

Here is the 2017 packing list for all you gender non-binary, queers and the LGBTQ clothing lines that helped me stay stylish while traveling!

First, I graduated to rolling luggage, y’all. Our backpacking days aren’t over, but it’s time for the travel glow up. Gay-friendly, TJ Maxx is THE best place to get luggage and other travel necessities. It’s there, I purchased by Samsonite and my leather Calvin Klein toiletry bag. Not a budget bag, but well worth it is the Professional Slim Laptop Backpack from eBags. I will be using this for my carryon. It’s compact, lots of compartments, keeps my computer secure, and slides onto my luggage handle.

13 Days in Ireland –

  1. Jacket – BauBax windbreaker.
  2. 3 T-shirts – Tom Boi white t-shirt, Revel & Riot “Smash the Binary,” Revel & Riot “Queers for Fears”
  3. 1 Collared Short Sleeve – Peau De Loup
  4. 1 Flannel – Peau De Loup
  5. Boots – Clarks
  6. Walking shoes – Vans
  7. Crew Neck Sweat Shirt – Gaylien
  8. Wool Cap – Wild Fang
  9. Cap, Socks, Undies – Tom Boi
  10. Binder – My Double Design 
  11. Watch – MVMT
  12. Carry On Bag – eBags





Why We Choose Who We Love: Part 1: Jennifer

Why We Choose Who We Love: Part 1: Jennifer

I’m Constance and I’m a serial monogamist. The lull between relationships lasts a couple months (weeks) before I’m back to creating a life with someone that mimics as closely to marriage as possible. I go all in. I’m certain if I were straight, I’d be on my 5th marriage and have at least one child with all five baby daddies. My mother says she doesn’t understand. She’s certain my brother and I got more than enough love growing up. Basically, mom wants to know, “WHY YOU SO THIRSTY???”

I don’t know mom, I do not know.

Let’s explore me this series. I’ll take you through each of my relationships and why I chose to love who I loved and how that love was lost.

My road to finding romance didn’t start until after my freshman year in college. Up until then, I was trying to find a husband and kissing gross boys for no reason other than I thought that’s what I was supposed to do. Boys made me feel insecure and I had no idea how to be romantic with them. To this day, I still have questions concerning how to give a proper HJ.

My first love was Jennifer. She’s a super shorty, I think she may have described herself as qualifying little person status… legally.

But y’all, she was a fake little person hottie. As small as she was, her brain was massive. Her intellect was genius level and I was bout it bout it.

We were introduced by a mutual friend and for weeks, we spent hours at the same coffee house studying and smoking cigarettes. Nothing romantic, no flirting, not even an ounce of sexual tension existed between us. But for some reason, I think the both of us felt like we were supposed to be together but didn’t know how to get it started.

We ended up sharing our first kiss at a Halloween party at a gay club in Austin, TX. Then we went back to being study buddies and Chipotle dinner mates. One night after watching TV with her and our friend John, I decided to tell her we could just be friends with no expectations and went back to my dorm room. The next day, we all met up for food and instead of going back to her room, she let everyone know at the table, she would be hanging out with me that night. She was such a bold little lady. I accepted and our marriage began that evening.

relationships, love, choose who we love

I’ve always described our relationship as one that started too young. We weren’t even 21 but we were domestic AF. We would weekend at outlet malls and pack work lunches for each other that always consisted of couscous.

We were great together, actually. We talked a lot, were ambitious in our goals, and understood each others needs. The only real reason our relationship ended was our (my) age and (my) lack of experience. When I say experience I mean, I needed more notches on my belt. Being with Jennifer was a sexual awakening for this new baby dyke.

Yes, folks. I broke up with Jennifer to sleep with other people. She was devastated, especially after I slept with her ex-girlfriend… the second notch on my belt. Remember how I said I was very goal oriented? Notch number two refused my marriage proposal and forced me to move onto girlfriend #2.

I chose Jennifer because she was the first smart, cute girl to look my way and give me smooches. That sounds terrible but that’s not why I stayed with her for 2 years. I chose to stay with Jennifer because she had so much goodness inside her and she was very generous to the people around her.

Jennifer was great with friends and family, and treated me like her #1. She was reliable and I trusted her with all my being. All of this was apparent because we immediately went from lovers to friends. That transition was seamless and today we are still friends. She is lovely and now has a beautiful family with baby 2 on the way.

To be continued…

6 Ways to Be a Good Guest

6 Ways to Be a Good Guest

Having a free place to say is a godsend when you are traveling. That just means extra cash to do cooler things and eat delicious food. I follow a list of rules when I’m welcomed into someone home for either just a night or an extended stay.

1. Contact the Host

When contacting your host, whatever the relationship, it’s important to set some expectations. You should make it clear what your intentions are, whether it’s to spend quality time with your host, sight-see, or spend your time connecting with other friends. You should also inquire what they might need or want in exchange for letting your stay there. Hosts that aren’t close friends might want some help on bills, help with the dog, or just have a particular way of leaving the house. 

2. Scope the Scene

When you walk into the space, quickly scope it out and assess how tidy is the place? This is a measure of how tidy and put together you have to be while staying in someone else’s home. If you notice the person makes their bed, hangs went towels, and puts their dishes in the dishwasher after using them, in order to be a good guest, you should do the same.

3. Replace What You Eat

This doesn’t necessarily mean going out to the grocery store but maybe leave some cash for the food you ate. Not everyone is secure in their finances that they can feed another face for an extended about of time. Just make sure you get a good idea of what your host can and cannot afford and try your best to accommodate their budget. 

4. Make Your Own Plans

Your host will most likely have a life of routine set up. Making plans of your own will prevent that routine form being rocked too much. You can make your schedule and plans known and your host can do the same. Invites can be made and you can be sure to give your host the space of their home.  

5. Leave It Better Than You Found It 

It’s impossible to be a good guest if you aren’t cleaning up after yourself. This means taking care of your laundry, dirty dishes, and other personal belongings. Keep your things out of the way and put away. Wipe down bathroom counters, take out the garbage, fold some clothes: these are some every day chores you could help out with to show you’re a good guest.

6. Show Gratitude

Make sure you come with a ‘Thank You’ card in hand. You’ll want to leave a note showing your appreciation. It’s something your host can read once you are long gone and remember why they were so gracious to housing you in the first place. There have been times I’ve found leaving a small gift card of some sorts is appropriate. 

5 Easy Habits to Help Save Money

5 Easy Habits to Help Save Money

1.Buy Used.flea-market

Unless you are getting something original or custom made, everything is massed produced. Think about it. How many times have you made a purchase and that item gets put into a drawer or closet to never be seen again? It’s more than likely the thing you are purchasing brand new isn’t worth what you paying for it. I can count on one hand the only items I’d buy brand new. Ready? Shoes, Pillows, Toothbrushes, underwear, and uh, you know…

2. Grocery shop every 2-3 days.

I used to grocery shop once every couple of weeks and that was only if I absolutely had to. You’ll save a ton of money shopping every couple of days and only grabbing what you’ll need for those days. Never mind all the rotted food that won’t be piling in the back of your fridge or deep in your pantry. Make a food calendar with the meals plan to eat for the week and only buy the food on that list! This could help you lose weight, too!

Save money buy spending cash

3. Pay with cash.

Cash helps you keep track of how much you are spending, physically. If you pull out $100 of play money for the week and you see, by Tuesday, you have no more cash in your wallet, you immediately know you’re over spending. Debit cards hide transactions unless you intentionally look at your online banking. Give yourself an allowance and spend THAT allowance as you wish. Nothing more.

4. Eat at home.

Preparing your own meals will save money and keep you healthy. I get it, some of us are super busy people. Getting take-out saves time! During busy weeks, you can pre-cook meals and stick them in the fridge or freezer. This also keeps your allowance in your wallet for more splurge spending on the weekend!

5. Attend FREE events.

Be a local and explore your city. Check out events calendars online and you’ll be floored at how many events you could participate in for FREE. I know Austin is packed with fun things to do!

These are all habits we adopted while living abroad and traveling. We will continue to follow these habits while living in the U.S.A.  I challenge you to try it for ONE MONTH.

15 Piece Butch Summer Travel Wardrobe

15 Piece Butch Summer Travel Wardrobe

Our blogger friend, Meg of Dopes On The Road recently posted an article about femme travel wear. This totally inspired us to create a butch summer travel wardrobe. Don’t mistake this for our packing list. NO! These are just must-haves for short trips to your favorite summer destinations. Want more butch fashion inspiration? Follow our Pinterest board

The Hair Cut

Any butch knows the importance of a fresh cut before a trip. A butch feels best when the hairs are on point. I’m sure femmes can relate. Good hair helps you feel like you can conquer the world or at least meet some new people and look great in all your travel photos.



Let’s continue to work from the top down, shall we? If you ever need a break from doing your hair, try one of these hats. I’m a huge fan of the flexible body but stuff brim. It’s easy to pack and still looks great when you take it out of the bag.



It’s the summer so you’re gonna want some sunnies. I love the round lenses. While they hold a feminine shape, they are super chic and stylish. Just ask Robert Pattinson.



The crew neck t-shirt has a high neck line which helps to hide sports bra straps, ammirite? The higher the neck the better the t-shirt. I went years buying t-shirts without trying them on first, thinking they would all fit the same. Not true! Try on everything. FACT: Butches are very particular about the way their clothes fit.


The short sleeve button up acts as a casual shirt for sightseeing in the day AND a shirt you can wear in the evening when having cocktails. Make sure you try these on before buying. It’s a shame when I see a butch wear a button up a size too small. For all my big-boobied butches, the breast buttons are sensitive and tend to open easily if the shirt does not fit properly. Also note the folded sleeves. This looks carries over to t-shirts and looks AMAZING.

button up

Even though it’s summer, I always bring a long sleeved denim shirt for the breezy evenings. I like to wear it with the top couple buttons loooow. Not cleavage low, but definitely chest low. The collar and collar buttons bring just enough masculine energy to the outfit, the low button look WORKS. There’s also nothing more powerful than feminine energy coming off a masculine butch.

demin shirt

Swim Wear

The butch summer travel struggle is definitely searching for the right swim suit. I like to suit up with men’s trunks and a sporty women’s top. I’ve found tops in large sporting goods stores and although there isn’t a lot to choose from, they come in neutral colors and fit perfectly.


Throw the bottoms away and get some cutie mens’ trunks. You can match these trunks through out your trip with any of the shirts you’ve brought and still look dope.



The khaki pant is perfect because you can wear it any time of the day for any event. They can be dressed up or down and they match ANYTHING.


Of course you’ll need your loose fitted jeans.


NOTE: The “roll” is in. Show off your shoes, save space in your bag, ditch your socks and roll those pants up!

I’m a super light packer, so I’d probably just go with the khaki pants and leave the jeans home. With that said, if the jeans stay home, the jean cutoffs get added to the bag! They are super cute, super casual, and just enough butch for comfort.



Finally, I had to think of shoes that could be worn with all of these garments. It was really a no-brainer. VANS. These shoes can be worn with or without socks, look great with pants or shorts, and even better with rolled pant legs.



A couple travel accessories for the traveling butch should include a sling bag (or a fanny pack, if you choose to wear it on your fanny!) Did you know holding your wallet in your back pocket is bad for your back? Now you know! Get yourself a nice butch sling bag to hold all your goods. You can even hold things for your girlfriend for once.

fanny pack

A great looking watch is an wasy way to tie your outfits together. I wear a basic Casio. It’s affordable and durable, which is totally butch.



LASTLY, the bag you need to carry all of your necessities is the Fjallraven Kanken. These bags come in tons of different colors and varies in sizes. Just choose which works best for you!


Let us know if we missed anything and let’s add it to the list!

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