Where have you felt the most comfortable as a gay traveler?

Where have you felt the most comfortable as a gay traveler?

This is the thirteenth installment of the blog series called “Insta Poll.” Included are follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow LEZ BACKPACK on Instagram!

We love traveling. That is a given fact. But as gay travelers, we want to know where we can express ourselves freely. We asked our followers where they felt most comfortable on their gay travel adventures. Here’s what they had to say: 


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“Most definitely Lauderdale aka Lotdale!!!!! You must have stayed around Wilton Manors huh?! I lived in the Manors for years before traveling with my job…. Believe it or not, Albuquerque, NM has a huge gay community!!!”


“Portland, Oregon. When I originally moved there after high school from a really small conservative town. I finally felt completely comfortable being myself. People here seem to be unique in their own way and appreciate the diversity in other people. Its just an eclectic and accepting place. I mean the motto is “keep Portland weird!””


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“Manhattan. Now there’s a city where one can be out and proud! NYC was very accepting of my lifestyle, sexuality, and fashion. Can’t wait to go back!”


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“San Francisco! Not that my current city has stigmata against gays, but SF has always been the place to be out and proud.”


“Portland gets my vote. Never seen so many queer folks in every walk of life.”


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“Melbourne, Australia.”


“I haven’t travel at all since I came out as a lesbian except inside Sweden, but I am comfortable in my day to day life. Maybe because I am openly gay. I hold hands, give a kiss on the mouth and so on. Yes you may get looks in the country side, far in the woods. But that could be also for that fact that you are a stranger. Period. Not because you’re gay.”


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“Toronto, ON in Canada. I visited my province back in Canada earlier this year, and it was my first time after I came out as gay. I forgot how friendly, we Canadians are, aha. But my favourite part about waking around in Toronto is seeing so many lesbian and gay couples. Not to mention the diversity that we have back in Canada. It’s the most beautiful thing. So Toronto, ON. Even RuPaul’s Drag Con this year was pretty amazing. I never wanted it to end because of what an amazing environment that place gives for gay people.”


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“Domestic: San Francisco. Portland’s LGBT community is too small and not very diverse. SF has more diversity and I always feel welcome. I can’t say the same for Portland, and I’ve lived there my whole life International: Sweden. Very welcoming and open.”


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“Disney World. I got engaged there to my future wife, and we got the “just engaged” pin. Every employee we passed said congratulations, gave us high fives, and made us feel awesome. Lots of LGBT families running around as well.”


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“Surprisingly enough, Dublin, Ireland, even before the marriage equality vote. No one has ever looked twice at us on the street when we’ve gone to visit my family. The old traditionalist Irish-Catholic values are evolving with the modern world and it’s a beautiful thing to experience.”


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“When travelling through Australia I was in Sydney during Mardi Gras so felt completely open and comfy then. Overall I’d say Australia, but it could of been because I was there so long it started to feel like home. Currently in New Zealand and I’d like to hope here will top Australia for comfort.”


“Man this is hard to really answer. I left Dallas bc I didn’t quite feel like I could be myself but I was looking for who I was exactly at that time also. LA has been more than accommodating for me. SF and Portland is cool too. Basically anywhere with some great diversity would be cool for gays.”

I can’t wait to be a gay traveler in all of these places! Where would you like to travel next? 

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Lesbian Relationship Advice

Lesbian Relationship Advice

This is the twelfth installment of the blog series called “Insta Poll.” Included are follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow LEZ BACKPACK on Instagram!

How do lesbians keep their relationships going strong? After a year of ups and down with my partner, I waned to know how make sure we’re always going strong. Here’s the best lesbian relationship advice our followers had to suggest:



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“Be patient, hear her, make her smile and tell her she is your everything.”


“Be on each other’s team”


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“Especially in a long term relationship, have “checking in” type conversations every now and then about stuff within your relationship, not just when something is wrong. That way, issues don’t simmer and people don’t get resentful or feel like an issue is a sudden attack. Communication is key, y’all.”


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“Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with your partner. A lot of strain in relationships is caused by mixed feelings and the resentment that builds from not meeting each other’s needs. Being honest about what you want and need from a partner and in a relationship will take you a long way.”


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“Learn how to communicate with your partner. Love them the way they receive love, and don’t get comfortable in the relationship. Always show each other patience, respect, and kindness.”


“”grass is greener where you water it”. Too often I’ve seen couples long for everything other than what’s in front of them. Every relationship is effort. The moment you stop trying its done. So continue to “date” and romance. if you fight, give each other your all to push through.”


“trust, friendship and talking, talking a lot about feelings and everything. Don’t keep it inside until you explode and fight”


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“We overlook the simple answer to being in a relationship… L❤VE!!!!… Simple and pure… You must be IN love.. Be IN love with… When you’re in love it’s just natural, it’s effortless, it’s breathtaking, it’s forgiving, it’s always IN the moment… Being IN love makes memories.. Simply being IN love…”


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“I know Brené Brown is super trendy but I also think she’s right: be vulnerable! (Be open, honest, and willing to be uncomfortable.) That said… It’s easier said than done.”

Just loving this amazing advice from the people who know lesbian relationships the best. Have anything to add? Mention your lesbian relationship advice in the comments below!

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Are Lesbians More Protective of their Relationships?

Are Lesbians More Protective of their Relationships?

This is the eleventh installment of the blog series called “Insta Poll.” Included are follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow LEZ BACKPACK on Instagram!

Do you think lesbian relationships are more protective than their heterosexual counterparts? Is it healthy, normal or irrational? Why or why not? Tell me your experiences, jealousies, confrontations… I want to hear it all!



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“As a queer single mother, I get to experience jealousy a bit differently. I get the feeling that because I had a kid the “old fashioned” way, that I an deemed untrustworthy (I do not identify as bi). My last relationship was skeptical of my friends of ANY gender, which I imagine must have been exhausting.”  


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“I think that in a lot of ways, yeah totally. Like we’ve fought hella hard to be seen, to be taken seriously, to be accepted, then to do this big scary thing where you allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone who has done the same. When you find and build that, the thought of that being taken away is pretty devastating. So yeah maybe dykes fight harder to hold on to those relationships because we’ve fought so damn hard to get there in the first place. I’m not only talking about romantic/sexual relationships either. Queer lady friendships are fucking revolutionary. I think the protectiveness can become irrational and unhealthy but it all comes form a place of deep hurt and fear and what can we do but do our damn best to sit with and honor that and work to move through it.”


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“Because the queer community is much smaller where I am than a typical heterosexual population, there tends to be a lot of hanging out in groups with my partner’s exes. In those situations, I would say I tend to be more protective. In general, though, I’ve found that there is a lot more trust between me and my partner and much less petty competition and judgement between myself and other women than what you often see among heterosexual girls.”


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“Coming from a heterosexual marriage to coming out with children and falling in love with my beautiful partner, I can say i am extremely protective of my relationship in comparison. I feel queer relationships, for me anyways, require a lot more work since there as so many emotions there. I have never been a jealous person, yet now I get jealous of a lot of petty things. I have become extremely fragile and have shown more vulnerability with my lady than I have with anyone. And it comes naturally. I feel it’s healthy only if communication is frequent and honest. It’s obviously important to be able to share every insecurity and jealous part of you in order to work together towards a common goal. I am still learning to be able to be comfortable with myself during all of this, and comfortable opening up more than I ever have before. It’s been a whirlwind for sure, but I’ve never felt closer with anyone in my entire life.”


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“I think every human is different. As much as we want to generalize everything – because that’s just how our brains work, we simplify as much as we can so we don’t get overwhelmed – it’s impossible. No relationship, whether it be through friendship or lovers or family, is secure. And every single brain interprets the world differently. For example, how I feel about my relationships, how secure I feel in them, can and probably is, interpreted and perceived differently from even those that I am in the relationship with. In other words, life is too complex to say any group of individuals sees relationships in a specific way, because it’s not a group dynamic. Your relationships are based solely on yourself and how you wish to interpret them. For example, a simple lack of communication for an extended period of time between me and someone I have a relationship with, causes me huge stresses, my mind goes to ‘this means they don’t love me’ or other things – there are things people fear that we aren’t aware of. Even if someone is straight doesn’t mean they don’t have the fear ‘because this person is a homosexual and I am not, they don’t like me’ . I say that only because I used to have that fear, felt I didn’t fit in with even my best friends’ other friends just because I was the only one in the group that didn’t identify with a title related to them. Though, I do not identify with anything, that in itself causes fear. I guess ultimately we let fear control how we feel about our relationships, and we shouldn’t. Love should never live in fear.”


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“I think a lot of our deeply rooted social behaviors as queer women tend to be more nurturing or protective, henceforth the stereotypical “U-Haul” tends to happen. It definitely can be extreme and unhealthy, however a lot of queer relationships make it as much as they don’t make it. In my own experiences I was with my ex for 3 years and she was extremely jealous of interactions I’d have with other people both female or male identified. So it was definitely hard and emotional at times because we were both clingy and needed each other for support because we came out of the closet during that time. There’s a lot of factors that had a lot of impact on why our relationship was the way it was (from cultural to me dating men before).”


“I think lesbians are more intense than their heterosexual counterparts. I have a habit of moving in with my girlfriend quite quickly. Lots of gay girls I know get married after a relatively short amount of time, or at the very least engaged. I don’t think it’s abnormal, not if a lot of us do it 😆 It’s not always healthy and it can make break ups last an age… my ex always used to say, “Gay men have sex and move on. Lesbians have sex and move in.” We moved in after 4 months.”

What do you think, readers? Are lesbian relationships validated in being more protective? Is just human nature in general?

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The Best and the Worst of Lesbian Online Dating

The Best and the Worst of Lesbian Online Dating

This is the tenth installment of the blog series called “Insta Poll.” Included are follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow LEZ BACKPACK on Instagram!

As a new single lesbian, I’ve tried my hand at online dating. I really wondered what the experience was like for my followers? Have they had any luck with lesbian online dating? Here’s what they had to say:


“My current relationship started with her messaging me “hey cutie what’s up 😉 ” on OkCupid, haha. Two years later…. 🙂 complicated pickup lines online are way overrated.”  



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“Best: we ended up at a nude swimming hole in Vermont. We were surrounded by old men and their dongs. Super fitting for a lesbian first date. Worst: the girl talked to other people the whole time and then expected me to go home with her. I was like, nah.  


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“When we did a first date over coffee and she quite literally ran away in the middle of me saying “we should do this again sometime.””



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“WORST: I was chatting with a pro snowboarder from California for quite some time. She decided to come visit me in Canada and stayed with me for over a week. Things were great and we were having a lot of fun together. Things then took a turn when I found out she was dating a well known pro skateboarder who wasn’t too happy to hear about what was going on and instead of taking it out on her girl, decided to send me threats of violence which continued for years haha. BEST: I started talking to a girl through a guy friends FB status about Lana Del Rey. We added each other as friends and started sending novel messages to each other daily. This continued until we decided to go on a date which went incredible. I moved to the city to be closer to her and 4 years later we’re not dating anymore but I gained a best friend who knows me better than any other. Thanks Lana!!”


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“I once went on a date with a girl who was so intimidated by my degree in methods that she kept saying “statistically” throughout the meal. Like “well statistically speaking people really like wine” ugh. Nope.

Butttttt I did meet my person online. My lovely Lindsay Cale”

I felt like I wasn’t the online one who has struggled with online dating! An maybe there’s hope for me out there! What are you lesbian online dating stories? Tell me in the comments below! 

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Why do lesbian women travel?

Why do lesbian women travel?

This is the ninth installment of the blog series called “Insta Poll.” Included are follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow LEZ BACKPACK on Instagram!

Why do lesbian women travel? Is it really such a simple question? I wanted to get a better idea of why my followers felt wanderlust… here’s what they had to say:




“To get a glimpse of what life is like for others, to get away from my office drone job, to adventure, to spend time closer to nature, to try SNACKS I’ve never tried before, to learn, to see the world more clearly.”


“To learn (especially because I usually wwoof when I travel and I also work on a farm at home), to connect with people, to push myself out of my comfort zone, to have time and space away from my regular life, and to see beautiful things.  


lesbian women

“To get to know myself!”



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“I travel to discover more about myself. I’m closest to my true self when I am on the road.”


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“To make the world a little smaller while experiencing mind blowing new adventures and learning about other people and places, and about myself! It’s something my parents instilled in me and I’m so thankful for that.”


“For the adventure and to get closer with my lady.”  



“To teach and be taught culture and to recenter ourselves and find new purpose”


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 “to find more about life, places, me, us, other people”

Reading these responses gave me quite a bit of peace. Everyone’s got the same desires and wants: to discover more about ourselves and others. Is there another reason that wasn’t mentioned that encourages you to travel? 

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How do you meet other lesbians abroad?

How do you meet other lesbians abroad?

This is our eighth installment of our blog series called “Insta Poll.” We include our follower’s ideas and comments in response to a weekly question! If you’d like to be involved, follow us on Instagram!

Last week we asked our followers to share their stories about being queer women abroad. This week we wanted to know: how do you meet other lesbians when you travel? 



“I love this question! It’s hard. I was in Malaysia for six months last year and considered apps, but instead just tried to reach out to people who had friends of friends in the queer community. In the future, I’d like to try a little harder because that plan wasn’t always successful. I was in KL interning with a migrant worker rights organization. I totally missed the queer community, but I think I got tired of searching for people. The country also made it difficult for queer folks to be out and proud. Lots of suppression of radicals in Malaysia.”     



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“It’s like what I’m doing in daily life: when I’m going out, I’m going out. Lgbt place or not, I never ask myself about it. We can say it like this: there no need to be in the lgbt community, I’m never looking for it, it’s like this 😊 And for lovers, I tried to use an app just once to see how it was ^^ Then, just through friends.  


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“We met on a Tuesday night in a little Muay Thai boxing stadium in streets of Chiangmai. She was in town for just 24hrs backpacking thru Asia from Texas & she took a chance on our chemistry to come back for just a few days & never left. That was over a year ago now we live in Australia. 2 halves of the same whole we are. How easily we could have passed each other & never of met. We were sitting closer ringside close to the bar & began chatting while waiting for rounds of drinks, told her & her friend come sit with us… & that was it. Laughed over similarities like water coloured tattoos on our forearms, conversation & drinks flowed, continued on dancing & having a great night then lost each other & she left town the next day. Early on in the night she’d added herself on my fb. If it wasn’t for that we’d probably never have spoken again with not a mutual friend in the world. She came back to Chiangmai a few days later & we’ve been together ever since! So easily we could have never met. As corny as it sounds she is absolutely my other half to my soul. She’s my first girlfriend, too. Our chemistry superseded everything I thought I knew about myself. We both took some huge gambles to be together & it’s been the best journey. Over 12mths on I’ve never been more in love. Lost some family along the way (she gained some I have a 4 & a 6yr old that are nuts about her) -life’s crazy eh ! Xo”




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“When I moved to South Korea, I had just come out about a year and a half before, so I was super excited to do gay stuff! I actually looked stuff up on Seoul before going to make sure there was a community there, and discovered Sappho Korea. I went to a couple of events with Sappho and a regular gay party right after I got there and met some really great people who I met up with a lot that year! It was pretty scary for me to go to those first few events haha but I was sooo glad that I did! I also try to visit LGBT bars/areas when I’m travelling with friends.”


Meet Other Lesbians

“You already know our story😀 We met on a lesbian app. İ sent her a message but she didn’t care about me😂 and I asked why don’t you reply to my messages? And she told me I am like a playboy for this reason she doesn’t want send messages to me😂 Later we started to talk. Now she still is in Egypt I am in istanbul. İ look forward to live with her in Istanbul.. In fact, Turkey has many lgbt members. There are LGBT associations. But there is only one lesbian bar, and almost 10-15 gay bars in Istanbul. The LGBT formation newly strong in Turkey. But I used the Chinese lesbian app. The L. İ definitely recommend you use it. You can introduce yourself to so many lesbian around the world.”


This we a really enlightening post for us. It seems like when we travel we might not care that much about meeting other lesbians. Is that true for you? Have you ever tried to meet other queer women abroad?

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