We’re Overweight.

According to The National Institute of Health, 75% of lesbian women are obese. Yikes, that’s a really high percentage. What they can’t seem to figure out is why… and they’ve invested $3.5 million dollars in research to figure it out. One theory is that lesbian women have “lower athletic self-esteem,” to which I say, HEY, what about the characterization of the sporty dyke?

lesbian stereotypes: best dressed

We don’t dress well.

Okay, first off – it’s not really that we don’t dress well. It’s just that we don’t care as much about how we are dressing compared to straight people. According to a new survey by British retailer Littlewoods, only 16% of women in a lesbian relationship wanted to change what their partners wear – compared with almost 20% of women with boyfriends.

“Around 28% straight women with a husband or long-term boyfriend confessed to making changes to his look. However, only 16% of  lesbians and bisexual women with a wife or long-term girlfriend made changes, and from this 25 to 34-year-olds were the biggest fashion gurus in a relationship and most likely to choose what their wife or girlfriend wore.”

But I want to ask: we don’t dress well compared to who? Like, what’s the measure of “dressing well?”

When you’re a lesbian and you embody a feminine energy tinged with masculinity: how do you dress? Like a man? And which pants, tailored to men with narrower hips than women, are going to fit your curves? How can you look good in that?? I ASK YOU? If you’re a petite Asian andro baby that likes to wear men’s clothing, where can you find ones small enough to fit you but wide enough in the chest for your boobs?! It’s a mess. And we get judged by society for it YET no one is out there making clothes for us.

Shout out to manufactures like TomboyX and for publications like DapperQ for shining a light on this much needed industry.

Okay, rant over. I really think that lesbians don’t care as much about what their partners wear because our relationships aren’t **always** based on physicality or appearance. They’re based in love. Hence the birth of stereotype #3…

Lesbian Stereotypes: Uhaul

U-Hauling

Have you ever heard the joke: What do lesbians bring to a second date?

A U-Haul.

Alright guys, prepared to get deep in this. There’s a biological reason women tend to get completely immersed in their relationships. We have a hormone called Oxytocin that hard-wires our brains for connection. When there is double the amount of this ‘love serum’ present in a lesbian relationship, it can make us fall fast and hard. Another reason is cultural: women are taught that being in a relationship is the one of the most important roles in our lives. This, paired with our chemical responses, creates the U-Haul effect.

Lesbian Stereotype: lesbian bed death

Lesbian Bed Death

And then, after the intense connection, comes the burnout. After about 3 to 18 months, our bodies will stop producing Oxytocin, and we’re left adding up all the things we dislike about our partner. This could be one of the factors for Lesbian Bed Death, the term used to explain why women in same sex relationships have sex less frequently than their heterosexual and gay male counterparts.

It’s true, lesbians DO have sex less frequently than everyone else. According to Dr. Karen Blair of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex (SSSS), only 15% of lesbian couples engage in sex more than twice a week, an average that looks relatively weak next to the 50% or more of other groups (straight men and women and gay men). But, Dr. Blair also noticed something interesting:

“…if you looked at how long each sexual encounter lasted, women in same-sex relationships were champs. Gay men and especially male and female heterosexuals reported typical sexual encounters of a half hour or less, often much less. Lesbians, on the other hand, described sexual sessions lasting upward of 30 minutes, and nearly 10% reported encounters of two hours or more. This is our first hint that the measure of “sexual frequency” is inadequate. Perhaps lesbians have lower frequency because if each sexual encounter involves extended periods of sensual and sexual activity, it is harder to find time for sex. And if sex is that intense, maybe you don’t need or desire it as frequently.”

BOOM. Maybe we’re just having better sex, y’all. Not to mention that lesbian women have been pioneers in sexual subcultures and gender bending which makes for some pretty interesting play for which we have to schedule and make time.

We even polled our Instagram followers on this touchy subject. The responses ran the gamut but most said that bed death isn’t a lesbian issue. It happens over time in all sorts of relationships.


What do you guys think about these lesbian stereotypes? There’s research backing them… but what’s your real-life experience as queer women? We’d love to hear your answers and whether you agree or disagree. Are there more stereotypes that we missed? Let us know in the comments below. 

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